Greeting true believers and Web-heads alike! This is my first ever blog post so please bear with me and together we can change my future posts from Clone Saga to Dark Knight Returns. Anyways, as you can tell, I’ve read a few comics in my life and I’m going to give you my $2.99 thoughts on them.
So Marvel’s new “Mega Event Crossover Spectacular” is called “Avengers vs. X-Men” or what I like to call “Braindead Neo-Nazis vs. Subspecies Crybabies”. In true form, Marvel’s creative team has made us fanboys hand over wads of cash to see “Earth’s Mightiest Heroes” pitted again “The Children of the Atom”. To set the scene without going into great detail, the X-Men have a brand new shiny toy in the form of a mutant messiah named Hope. Well that all seems great for them, but there’s one problem, some silly giant fire bird from space is coming to earth to find Hope. So Iron Man gets on wikipedia and tells the Avengers “Hey the Piasa bird is coming to blow up the Earth”. Captain America then grabs his gun, pack of American Spirits, and a truck full of hate filled superheroes and rolls down to Mutant Pleasure Island to “have a nice chat” with the X-Men. What is to come is one of the silliest things I’ve read in comics in awhile.
“Gimmie That!”
“Make me, Stupid”
“You’re Stupid”
“I Hate You”
“If you don’t, I’ll beat you up”
MOM!!!!!!!
And after that, the story kinda dissolves into a bunch of nerds slap fighting each other over 10 or more crossover books. Now don’t get me wrong, I love comics and I rather like The Avengers and the X-Men, but as someone who is a firm believer in “Shut up and take my money!” I feel like Marvel can do a little better. I miss the age of comics where it was exciting to see Wolverine show up in an Iron Man adventure for a drink. I also liked these “Mega events” at one point, “Civil War” was cool, and if you go back a ways and take a look at books like the “Infinity Gauntlet” you can get a fun sense of action and adventure. I have full faith that one day Marvel will step away from their current marketing schemes and gives Marvelites what they want again. In the mean time if you like Marvel and are also into epic storylines I highly recommend the” Annihilation” series.
One last note while I’m talking recommendations, is that if you aren’t reading Animal Man and Swamp Thing from DC’s New 52, you don’t know what you’re missing. I love these books, they are wonderful stories with art that will completely wow you. I would even recommend them to people who don’t read comics. The story is really that solid. Animal Man was just released in trade paper back so do yourself a favor, go to your local comic book store, spend the $15, read and love this book. I know you will. Anyway if you made it this far reading this you most likely have more willpower than Guy Gardener and also I thank you. I look forward to incoherently talking about comics some more in the near future, but at that point I expect all of you to have read Animal Man.
‘Nuff Said.
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